whoever said fairy tales were real anyway
by grthgdrh
Summary: Their marriage should have been a car crash, complete and utter chaos. They know very well that even their closest friends, the people they love the most, had not really believed that they would last. Ted, Marshall and Lily don't know every little thing about their relationship, though. Legends need to keep a few secrets, after all.
1. Chapter 1

Contrary to what the gang believes, they keep their honesty vow. They "get into the deep stuff" and properly talk. Whenever Robin gets fed up with Barney's habit to stare off into the distance and blend out the real world, she sees to it that he knows about it. And even if that particular old habit dies hard

( _never completely, though, and that's okay_ )

and Barney grows frustrated every time Robin wakes the entire neighborhood by shouting at the television screening an ice hockey match and there is slightly more tension in the flick of her wrist as she gulps down Scotch as if it was water after every fight, they are no longer focused on winning. Because they finally have something that is just that much too precious to let slip out of their grasp.

And neither of them can deny that their make-up sex is amazing.

There are many things their friends believe even though they could hardly be more wrong.

Ted will jokingly ask Barney if he doesn't get annoyed when he can't update his blog when there is no WiFi in the hotels the two of them stay in. Lily tells Robin about her worries that they will each get disconnected from the other and are bound to fight more often, with them being separated for such long stretches of time. Marshall wonders out loud if he doesn't get annoyed that his wife is travelling so much.

They scoff and laugh. What are they expecting, a divorce after a lousy three years?

 _(Barney jokes that it's all a conspiracy to break them up so that Marshall can win a bet with Lily)_


	2. Chapter 2

Every once in a while they celebrate their wedding anniversary with a Superdate of their own.

The evening starts off with the Best Burger in New York City

 _(because, let's face it, no matter how many times Ted tells them about that one restaurant on the corner that apparently serves heaven on earth concealed in the mortal form of Italian cooking that even surpasses anything one might find in Rome - Lily agrees and she should know and Robin trusts her stamp of approval - the whole gang knows, deep inside, that this is the most glorious of everything edible on this earth)_ ,

continues with one or two or five rounds of laser tag

 _(because ice skating is_ so _pretentious)_.

If there is any chance of an ice hockey match being on, you can bet that they will be there, right next to Jessica Glitter and her organ, on the condition straight from the manager that they are not to disturb her.

So what if they got thrown out once because Barney thought it would be a great idea to play Bon Jovi's You Give Love A Bad Name on said musical instrument while Jessica had excused herself for a short while

 _(the audience response was totally worth it, they knew what's up)_.

Out of sentiment for tradition, they enjoy the sight of fireworks against the New York skyline from the World Wide News roof, with the finest cigar in hand and the taste of exquisite Scotch in their mouths.

And it is legendary.


	3. Chapter 3

Surprisingly enough, their honeymoon brings them to that weird, odd country. You know the one, where people keep apologizing for no reason, the one with the board game money and ice hockey.

Canada.

Now, Canada is admittedly huge, so they make a decision.

Road trip! Visit all the states!

The plan was brilliant until their car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere and it changed to comfort, planes, hotels, running water and decent mattresses. For the sake of a good night's sleep, of course. And sex.

Robin pulls a few strings and gets him the best birthday present ever: an exclusive Robin Sparkles song.

She claims she still has notebooks full of unused lyrics, but stresses just how impossible it would be for him to try and find and expose it to their friends

( _she loves the Mosbys and Eriksons, they are their family, after all, but this is something special, something made for them)._

Barney has no intention of getting killed by the wrath of a Robin wronged and is perfectly content to watch his wife work in the recording studio.

Somehow, they end up making a demo CD including a song of his debating the complex issue of "women vs. suits" and a rather heartfelt duet.

Once they get back just in time for Marvin's birthday, they answer any questions their friends have about their honeymoon with statements like, "We would have brought a moose or grizzly bear with us too, but the officers were really cranky that day."

All of which is the truth.


End file.
